Posts Tagged ‘GOP’

Less Golf for GOP & Tea; Less Marathon Training and Rock Wall Climbing for Democrats

November 6, 2011

Jobs. And golf?
Couldn’t resist the temptation to have some fun, expand my neurons on a dull Sunday morning, and share my ruminations about, uh, golf — and the noise made by Sunday morning pundits over the weeks prior televised Presidential Election coverage.

You may disagree with me but I do know a few nice people who play golf. Note the use of the world “few.” They don’t beat their children or swindle millions from their friends retirement accounts. However… Golf. Really? Why would I even want to write anything about golf other than that Kevin Coster looks good driving a club. And so did Dinah Shore.

I find golf an odd-little adrenaline-pumping game for those no longer or never were Jocks. Certainly it’s the only really “acceptable” game for GOPers, employed junior management, middle, and even upper management seeking to climb higher on the backs of pimpled balls. Business meetings are held in the best hotels surrounded by eighteen hole courses with sand traps and lies. They write-off these business expenses. So every deal made on the eighth tee is tax deductible. Also over the urinal. Hell, for all I know, even the urinal is tax deductible. What about the golf clubs? How do IRS loopholes play or iron out for these amateurs? The Corp-o-Rat-ions pick up the greens fees, lunches, apres ball swacking dinners because the conversation is seriously over holes and drives and misses and holes. The meaty kind, the sweddy, and the dimpled. The tacky golf gifts are tax deductible. Women who don’t hit little balls beware — there are other ways for you to pay your dues. These games tend also to involve little balls. And little minds. A bad lay. No benefits. No future. For those who do, remember what your mother told you: “Never beat at man at his own game. It undermines his game. Always let the man win.”

Personally I think Democrats should stick to chess, scuba diving, swimming, sculling, tennis, rock climbing, Trekking, backpacking, century rides, marathons, adventure vacations, and the like. Not wasting their time “Making deals” on the back nine over clubs and some guy in checked yellow pants whipping his pimpled ball into submission. Democrats have so much more finesse. But can they their solve the diminishing jobs situation if they too stick to only what they know? Quoins, Treks, skis, REI, Luna bars, Goo, packing out their trash? Don’t think so.

How about if we create a new job type called “no balls allowed, no idealism.” Just mix an equal part GOP with an equal number DEM, flick the blender switch, and see what comes out. Hopefully a mixed and smooth blend of Americans who want to find jobs for everyone. Once everyone is back at work producing meaningful infrastructure and outrageously out-of-box creations that will them beget more American jobs, then the adults in the board rooms across our country can return to hitting their pimply little scratched balls and solving global insurgencies.

Jobs. And golf? Maybe they don’t go together. Maybe you have to sit them both down in the same room and make them play together like the adults they are not.